The Heartbreaker
by aZn-DiViN3-bLeU
Summary: In order to save her entire clan from Kagome, Sango must learn the Heartbreak stance before their duel. But to understand and utilize this sword technique the user must truly understand the meaning of heartbroken. Who can Sango find to break her heart?
1. So Many Women, So Little Time

GiGi - Hi everyone! Okay well I just saw this great Chinese movie called Love For All Seasons (but I didn't think the title suited the movie much so I changed it) and I like the plot so much that I wrote this Inuyasha fic based on it!

Shippo - Who's in it?

GiGi - E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e!

Everyone - Nooooooooo! NO! NO!

GiGi - ¬.¬ Rite…. Yes…. Well Miroku and Sango are the main characters of it…. Well Miroku more….

Sango - Why me? =*(

Miroku - Um…. any girls?

GiGi - Yes Miroku…. Many many girls….

Miroku - =D This is going to be a great story!

GiGi - ¬.¬ Okay…. Now even I'm creeped out!

Miroku - *flirting with some random person*

****

Disclaimer - GiGi don't own anything…. And she never will! And that's because Rumiko Takahashi won't give it up. Miroku can own his own pervieness though.

**__**

Summary - 

(Still takes place in Feudal Japan)

Millionaire playboy Miroku has been dubbed as "The Heartbreaker" for good reason. He dates women just to toy with their emotions and toss them like his spare change. But after he gets hit with a mysterious urinating problem that medicine can't seem to cure, Miroku goes a temple in Japan to seek the wisdom of the famed Omei Clan because other clans would not accept scum like him. 

Upon arrival, Miroku meets the head mistress, Sango who promises to cure his strange illness, but not before she plays some good pranks on him for using women. However, the Omei Clan is threatened when Sango's formerly expelled elder clansister Kagome returns to challenge Sango to the seat of Head Mistress with a sword fight. Obviously, Sango loses because she could not perfect Omei's long-lost "Heartbreak" sword stance and Kagome challenges her to a second duel within one month to "kill myself and then kill each of you." In order to defeat Kagome, Sango must learn the "Heartbreak" stances before the duel. But to understand and utilize this sword technique, the user must truly understand the meaning of "heartbreak." Hmmm . . . who can Sango look to help break her heart in a month?

****

WARNING FOR A BIT OF LIME FOR THIS CHAPTER!

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

****

The Heartbreaker

Chapter 1

So Many Women, So Little Time

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Ladies, ladies! Please! There's enough Miroku to go around for everyone!" the playboy, Miroku tried to 'calm down' the women he had invited over who were currently all lying all around him.

"Oh Miroku!" One of the many young women gasped as he started to 'feel her up'. Then he moved on to the next woman and did the same to her too and so on and so on.

The playboy grinned and grabbed an unexpecting women and played a little 'tonsil hockey' with her. All the other women pouted and started whining, complaining that they all wanted a turn with the guy too.

"Oh baby!" One of the girls whispered in his ear with 'passion'. "I love you!"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

__

The next day

"Miroku!!!!!" a woman exclaimed as she entered the house, noticing the place was littered with all kinds of girl's clothing.

Miroku's eyes fluttered open as the scream that erupted from the woman. "I-I-Inoue?"

The woman's eyes filled with tears as she saw her lover surrounded by at least12 girls. "H-h-h-how could you do this to me? You said you loved me!" She sniffed as she ran out of the house.

Miroku was currently debating whether to chase after his girlfriend by having to move all the girls off him or to not disturb them at all and forget about Inoue. He chose option #2. After all, why have to bother 12 girls just to get 1 back? Right? Right? Right?

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

__

A week later

"Miroku!!!!!!! How dare you?" Jade's eyes flashed red as she walked into the room, where Miroku was currently trying to find the quickest way to undo a woman's kimono while it was still on the woman.

She stormed out of the house, but not before slapping the playboy and bashing his head with her fist leaving a numerous number of red handprints and bumps on his face and head.

"Is it too late to say that I love you?" Miroku called out to Jade's back.

"Bastard." She mumbled to herself.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

__

A few days later after that….

"MIROKU!!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Yooree shrieked as she found Miroku making out with another woman on the table. 

"H-h-hi Yooree?" Miroku laughed nervously as he broke contact with the woman he was 'exchanging saliva with'. "Umm…. Please don't slap me?"

Yooree respected his wish…. She didn't slap him, she punched him! "You horny bastard! I never want to see you again!" she fumed….

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

GiGi - Sooooo…. Miroku…. ¬.¬ Three words: Pervert…. and issues….

Miroku - *goes starry eyed* Whoa…. so many women!

Everyone - O.o

Miroku - And they were wearing such little clothin-….

Sango - -___-U *whacks Miroku's head with his own staff*

Miroku - XD

Miroku - *dazed and talking to someone* Uh, will you give the honour of bearing your child? 

Myoga aKa 'The Someone' - O.o I'm just a flea! Size isn't everything you know! Stop mocking me! Just cuz I wasn't born like all of you doesn't mean you should mock me…. blah blah blah blah blah….

Miroku - *now talking to another someone* Will yooooou give the honour of bearing your child?

Inuyasha aKa 'The 2nd Someone' - O_O Get your eyes checked pervert! *whacks him with Tetsusaiga*

Miroku - XP

Everyone - Review!

Miroku - *wakes up* What happened? 


	2. The Troubles Start

GiGi - Hi everyone! I'm back! Well this chapter isn't going to have any lime in it…. So Miroku will just have to tone it all down

Miroku - =( Poo!

GiGi - You had your fun!

Miroku - *thinking back* Hmmmm…. I did…. Didn't I? =D

Inuyasha - *also thinking back* O_O GiGi owns NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

**__**

Summary - 

Millionaire playboy Miroku has been dubbed as "The Heartbreaker" for good reason. He dates women just to toy with their emotions and toss them like his spare change. But after he gets hit with a mysterious urinating problem that medicine can't seem to cure, Miroku goes a temple in Japan to seek the wisdom of the famed Omei Clan because other clans would not accept scum like him. 

Upon arrival, Miroku meets the head mistress, Sango who promises to cure his strange illness, but not before she plays some good pranks on him for using women. However, the Omei Clan is threatened when Sango's formerly expelled elder clansister Kagome returns to challenge Sango to the seat of Head Mistress with a sword fight. Obviously, Sango loses because she could not perfect Omei's long-lost "Heartbreak" sword stance and Kagome challenges her to a second duel within one month to "kill myself and then kill each of you." In order to defeat Kagome, Sango must learn the "Heartbreak" stances before the duel. But to understand and utilize this sword technique, the user must truly understand the meaning of "heartbreak." Hmmm…. who can Sango look to help break her heart in a month?

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

****

Chapter 2

The Troubles Start

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Miroku smiled as he stretched his arms and shuffled his feet into a more comfortable position on the lawn chair (A/N: Remember this story takes place in Feudal Japan so imagine a lawn chair made of twigs of something.). "Awww this is the life…. Women everywhere…. Being rich…. Women everywhere…. Ha! It's good to be 'The Heartbreaker'"

Just then, Miroku's two bodyguards raced up to him with pained expressions on their faces.

"Master! Three of your past girlfriends are about to commit suicide because you broke their hearts!" exclaimed Hachi

"You better get down there and try to stop them sir!" Mushin advised.

Miroku sighed and got up from his relaxing chair. "Yes I suppose I should be there as the girls decide to sacrifice themselves for my love."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Susan!" Miroku called out as he climbed the final stairs up to the roof where the girls were. (A/N: Again, its in Feudal Japan so this building would have only had like 1 level)

All three of the girls turned around as they heard their names being called out. (A/N: Yes, all those girls are all Susans. XD)

"Susan! Please don't do this just because I don't love you."

All three girls fumed and slapped the lecher. "If you never loved us, why did you toy with us?!?!?!?" They all fumed.

"Because! I am 'The Heartbreaker!'" Miroku announced.

Once again, his three outraged ex-girlfriends slapped him.

They all glared at their Heartbreaker and suddenly were hit with inspiration. They pushed Miroku off the side of the building instead!

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"NOOOOOOOO! MASTER!!!!!!" Mushin and Hachi exclaimed as they watched in slow motion as their master was shoved off the building by his three ex-s. They dove to the same side and caught his ankle just as the girls had all left the roof…. 

Miroku was left dangling 15 centimeters away from the ground….

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

That night after Mushin insisted that they wrapped up Miroku's wounds tightly into bandages (A/N: XD), Miroku felt the strangest sensation. His stomach felt like it was churning the other direction! Also he felt like he really need to use the bathroom but he couldn't. "Uh oh."

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Doors slammed. Miroku curses. Mushin comments how cursing is not polite. Hachi sighs. Go to another temple. Doors slammed again…. It was a never-ending cycle….

That was their routine for the next few days. After going a day without not being able to use the bathroom, Miroku went to many doctors for a cure but they couldn't find anything wrong with the Casanova but they still prescribed medicine for his 'bladder problems'. He tried them but nothing worked. Then the doctors advised him to go to a temple to clear him from bad chi*. So Miroku went to many temples all over Japan but was rejected at each one because of his playboy ways.

"Um…. Look at it this way Master Miroku! Everywhere we go, everyone always knows who you are!" Hachi desperately tried to cheer up his Master, who usually would have beat the living daylights out of him but since he was too weary, he just glared.

"Sir! We still have one more temple to try. Should we go?" Mushin asked.

Miroku nodded. It couldn't hurt to try right? "Forget it…. It does hurt-…. In fact, IT BURNS WHEN I WANT TO PEE!!!!!" Miroku screamed in his mind.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"We're here Master Miroku. This is Omei temple." Said Mushin.

"Omei Temple eh?" Miroku commented as he knocked on the front doors. "You better face me like men-…." Miroku's jaw dropped.

The people who opened the doors were female. All of them! "Can we help you?" One asked.

"Yes, our Master here seeks a cure for-…." Hachi started off. "Master? Are you ok? Master! Wake up!" Both Mushin and Hachi gasped as Miroku fainted.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

"Wake up!" a sharp female voice awoke Miroku. "Well girls…. He's not dead…. But he does only have three more days to live…." The voice continued.

"WHAT? I'M GONNA DIE IN THREE DAYS?" Miroku exclaimed.

"Naw…. Just messing with you." One of the many girls around him joked. A few girls giggled.

"Master! You're awake!" Hachi exclaimed as he was passing by and noticed Miroku.

"What happened?"

"You fainted sir! And the Omei girls have decided to help you and your condition."

Just then, another woman entered the room and all the girls bowed down on the floor. 

"How is he?" She asked.

"He's-… ummmm…. Not dead?" A girl with a low ponytail joked.

"Kikyo! I'm serious!"

(A/N: I put a lot of the female characters in the show to be the girls in the temple. None of them are bad guys in this story!)

"Sango! Calm down! Chill!" Yura defended her friend.

"Just go and get me some herbs Yura!" Sango commanded.

Miroku could only stare. This Sango girl was really pretty. And he defiantly knew the true meaning of pretty.

"You! Come with me!" Sango ordered Miroku who happily obeyed….

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

GiGi - Hope you liked this chapter….

Miroku - Sooooooooooooooooooooooo many girls-…. *GiGi grabs Inuyasha's hand and whacks Miroku's head with it*

Inuyasha - ¬.¬

GiGi - ^^; Um…. better safe than sorry?

Sango - Well…. At least he's not talking anymore?

Kagome - ^^; Yeah, that's true….

Miroku - *rubbing Sango's backside unconsciously*

Sango - O_O ARGH! *slaps Miroku*

Miroku - cXP (ß the c is the bump on his head!) 

Shippo - . Even when he's sleeping…. *sigh*

GiGi - ^^; Ummm…. that's Miroku all right….


	3. Tricked Or Treated

GiGi - Wow.. Chapter 3 already! Thanks for all the reviews guys! ^_______^ Let's get to it now shall we?

****

Disclaimer - Nothing! I own nothing!!!!!!!

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * 

Chapter 3

Tricked or Treated

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Owwwwwwwww!" Miroku moaned as Sango stuck acupuncture needles all over his head. "Tell me again why poking holes in my head will help me?" Miroku questioned. "And why are you putting in so many? I look like a hedgehog!"

"More needles give a better and quicker result." Sango explained as she put in more needles.

"I had this girlfriend once who had a hedgehog hairstyle. It made her look like a pig! So ugly! But luckily, she had a great body.. So I made my move of course, but her face.. Ugh! It kept getting in the way! Still.. Each time I had to kiss her, I had to resist the urge to cover her ugly pig face with a sack-.. Ow ow owwww! That hurts! Owww!"

"Look the next batch of needles will hurt ok." Sango sighed as she gathered up more needles.

"B-b-but! Acupuncture isn't supposed to hurt!"

"Omei style acupuncture is different though! The more pain there is, the faster the result!"

Miroku thought it through and nodded. "Makes sense to me I guess.. Ow! Ouch! It hurtsssssss!" Miroku whined through the night. 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Tell me again why I'm hugging this tree?" Miroku asked as he tightened his leg grip around the tree trunk.

"It has precious herbal essence. It's over 500 years old you know." Sango explained. 

"This tree reminds me of I girl I dated. She had legs bigger than tree trunks but her skin was as smooth as silk. Another girl had great legs. Real nice and slim ones you know.. But then her skin was as dry as bark. And she had a terrible complexion too-.."

Sango sighed as she watched Miroku go on and on about his past girlfriends. 

"And her pores were as big as-.. Ants! A big nest!" Miroku panicked.

"Oh my god! Miroku! You're in luck then! Omei ants are a great cure!"

"B-b-but they're in my pants! They're moving upward!"

"Let them be!" Sango instructed.

"They're biting me!" Miroku yelped as his eyes widened.

"Let them be!"

" Augh! They're in my genitals!"

"They're healing you! Let them be! Isn't that where you are experience the problems anyways?"

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

The next morning, Miroku walked around the temple, exploring many rooms. Most of them were uninteresting until he came across the a room with a statue of a woman doing a graceful sword technique. The first thing Miroku noticed was that the statue was wearing a skirt! Miroku grinned deviously as she quietly made his way towards the statue. He started to bend down to look.

"No looking under Grand Master's skirt!" Sango scolded as she flicked Miroku's head.

"Ow!" Miroku rubbed his head as he turned around and saw Sango. "I can't help it! I don't care if it's just a statue.. I can't resist what is under that skirt.. No matter what! In fact, I once saw this guy wearing a kilt and I almost did the same thing!"

Sango quickly covered Miroku's mouth before he could spill anything that would scar her mind for life. "You're really sick you know that?"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"So what are we learning today?" Miroku asked curiously.

Sango closed her eyes and did some tai-chi. Miroku just shrugged and copied her every move.

"I'm gonna teach you a Revitalization exercise." Sango murmured while keeping her eyes closed.

Miroku cheered as he continued to copy Sango. "Hopefully, this technique will help cure me." He thought to himself.

Sango continued to swing her arms in a slow motion, then her legs. Miroku copied everything move by move.

Then suddenly Sango started to do backflips with one hand, spinning high in the air and jumping off walls. And Miroku.. Well.. He could only stand there and watch..

"I can't do that you know.." Miroku stated to Sango who finally came back down to the ground.

Sango frowned for a second until she remembered a substitute to the Revitalization exercise. "C'mon I have a better idea!"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Miroku was led back into Grand Master's statue room. "What's your better idea?" he asked.

Sango sat next to him and grabbed his hand. "Watch!" she used his hand to slap his own face.

"Now keep doing that!" Sango instructed as she got up.

"But my face will swell up from the pain though. I won't be handsome anymore!" Miroku explained.

"No no no! See? That's ok! Just keep slapping! Both hands remember! And remember from different directions too!"

Miroku glared at his hands before slapping himself complaining about the pain every few seconds. "I had this girl had the most unusual head! But she was a 42G thank god! And then I knew this other gir who had the best shape of head but she was so darn flat!"

Sango grabbed a hand and whacked his mouth with it too. "The mouth too! Remember!"

"But then my mouth will swell up and I won't be able to talk!" Miroku argued. 

"Do you want to be cured or not?" Sango sighed.

Miroku nodded and proceeded to slap himself silly.

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

Sango led him to a clearing with a small stream in the forest up on a mountain and sat down on a nearby rock. Miroku huffed and puffed as he finally made it up to the mountain. He glared at Sango for making him walk so far and collapsed as he tried to catch his breath. Sango took a bowl out of her bag and scooped some of water into the bowl and added the herbs in that Yura had given her before they left and a few wild plants that were around. "Here.. Drink this." She said as she thrust the bowl in his face.

He took a sip of it and made a sour expression. The liquid was sour, sweet, thin, thick, strong, weak, bubbly, fizzy and lumpy.. All at the same time!

"What is this?!?!?" He questioned.

"Herbal drink. It helps you pee-.." Sango explained.

Miroku paled as he set the empty bowl on the rock before making a mad dash for a nearby tree.

"Why didn't you warn me that the medicine works this fast?!?!?!?" Miroku demanded with his back to Sango as he continued to pee on the tree.

The woman shrugged innocently as Miroku continued to speak.

"I-I-I had this girlfriend once that everytime she was upset-And she was always upset if you know what I mean-.. She would always wet herself-.. I-I-I'm not going to- am I? I mean it's not good if I have to.." Miroku's eyes widened as he started to whimper.

Sango sighed and rubbed her temples. "Nothing is going to happen to you." Just then she spotted a plant that looked like a red splotchy conchshell. She grabbed it and thrust it at an unexpecting Miroku who had finished his bathroom break.

"What is that?!?!?!?!?"

"Another herb!" Sango reassured him. "This one helps with constipation though!"

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

"Sango!" Kikyo cried out.

Sango was rushed to the main gates of the temple. For some odd reason it had been fingerpainted. 

"It's Big Sister Kagome's work!" Kagura exclaimed.

"She used her own blood to make these markings.. " Sango discovered as the news created an upstart with the other girls.

"She must be insane! There are only 23 of us but she made 26 handprints!" Rin (A/N: Pretend Rin is a teen now) exclaimed. 

"The markings on the left side of the door represent us. The ones on the right are our patients.." Sango explained. 

"Then what about the handprint on the top?" Yura asked.

"That's represents Big Sister."

"Sango! What are these?" Nazuna pointed out a bunch of footprints to the rest of the girls.

"That's how Kagome got up there."

"But what does she want?" Kanna asked.

"She wants to die with us.." 

* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *

GiGi - I made Kagome the sorta bad guy of this story.. And she is insane but you'll find out why later..

Kagome - I'M CRAZY???????????? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? I HAVE NOT CRACKED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone - O____O

Miroku - Yes she has.

Kagome - WHAT DID YOU SAY?????? *kicks Miroku into the sky where he disappears into a little speck like Team Rocket*

Everyone else - *moves away from Kagome*

GiGi - O__O Um.. review?


	4. Not As It Seems

GiGi - Sorry I haven't updated this fic for a long time…. (cough cough )

Myoga - Eek! SARS!

GiGi - (glaring as hard as her coughing mind let her) Don't make me squish you!

Myoga - O.O MEEP!

GiGi - As you can see…. I'm sick…. Which really sucks…. since I'm not allowed to miss school or anything….

Kagome - Try Buckley's! It tastes awful and kills your tastebuds too!

Inuyasha - What is this Buckley's? And what were you doing eating it?!?!?!?

Kagome - -.-U Geez…. Just forget it….

Inuyasha - Kagome! Tell me! What is this Buckley's? Kagome!

GiGi - (walking Kagome 'sit' Inuyasha) Ummmmm…. Read and review?

DISCLAIMER - Eeny, meany, miney, mow…. I own nothing!

==============================================================

Chapter 4

Not As it Seems

==============================================================

As Sango made her daily morning rounds around the temple, she sensed something around her. Something that made her skin crawl…. Yet the feeling was so familiar.

Sango's eyes widened as she whirled around, trying to spot something unusual. "She's here already?" 

"Miss Sango!" Hachi called out. "Miss Sango!"

Sango turned around as Hachi and Mushin rushed out carrying a very pale Miroku.

"Augh…. I don't feel good…. Have I been poisoned?" Miroku groaned.

"I don't have time to play games with you anymore." Sango said as she shoved Mushin and Hachi away and stepped behind Miroku. "Back off everyone!" she warned. 

She thrust the palms of her hands onto his back a few times. Then she spun him around very fast. Miroku barely had time to breathe before Sango attacked him again. She ran away and then ran back and kicked him with her new combined strength and speed. Then she gave him multiple kicks and punches. Miroku eyes widened as the pain spread to every part in his body, yet he was unable to scream. She took this time to grab the accupunture needles from her two sisters who brought it to her and stabbed them straight into Miroku's head. All the way down until only the handles were showing. Miroku's eyes widened once again but this time he let out a bloodcurling cry.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

WWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

==============================================================

****

Sango took out the needles and pushed Miroku back to Hachi and Mushin. Just then Miroku went down on all fours and started to throw up white foam. 

"Master!" both Hachi and Mushin cried out.

Sango took a white bag and gave it to Miroku who was currently trying to stand up.

"Boil this medicine in hot water and then drink it 3 packets a day."

"Wait! This is the cure? This is the cure?" Miroku spat out with anger. "YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH ALL THAT BOGUS TRAINING WHEN YOU COULD HAVE CURED ME IN ONE SIMPLE ATTACK?"

"I was simply showing your revenge for all those innocent girls you played."

Miroku gridded his teeth as he was a lunge for Sango's throat. "WHY YOU!!!!!" 

However, Mushin and Hachi grabbed him just in time. "Master stop! You are cured now!" Mushin explained as he and Hachi started to drag Miroku away from the temple.

"Thank you Miss Sango." Hachi added graciously. "Thank you so much."

Sango nodded and started running up the stairs. 

"Wait! How much water do I boil this with?" Miroku shouted back to Sango.

"0.6L of spring water!" she called back.

"And how long do I boil this for?"

"Bring the water to a boil then simmer for 3 minutes!"

"Thank youuuuuuuu!" Miroku called out as he was dragged out the front gates.

"No problem!" she called back one last time.

==============================================================

****

GiGi - Well that wasn't too bad….

Sango - Ha! Easy for you to say!

Miroku - Yeah! I got attacked by this beautiful taijiya!

Sango - ¬.¬#

Miroku - (grabs Sango's backside)

Sango - Meep! Perv! (slaps him)

Miroku - XD

Sango - ¬.¬

GiGi - ; Typical day with these two around…. And here are some questions I need to answer!

**__**

Q&A's

Why is Kagome the bad guy though... 

Well…someone had to be the bad guy! And I figured for a change…. Kagome can be eeevvviiiillll! ; Its just a new perspective of Kagome! And I figured Kikyo can rot in hell in my other fics! See I'm so considerate! To all the Kagome lovers and haters…. And the Kikyo lovers and haters! 

Doesn't Miroku know that you're not supposed to mention your old girlfriends to your new one? 

Why is Miroku talking about his other girlfriends in front of his new one? Simple! First of all…. Sango ain't his girlfriend…. Yet…. wink wink And think about it! This is Miroku! The womanizer! I find it self-explanitory! And if it isn't…. then I cant really explain it then….

Doesn't Miroku die from having needles in his head?

Um…. if he was a real character…. Then probabaly…. But for the sake of this fic…. He's alive! And all is good! 

Though I doubt they used chairs- including Lawn Chairs- all that often in feudal Japan... Maybe they did, maybe they didn't... 

Yes I know there wasn't any lawn chairs back in Feudal Japan! I specifically said that in a short Authoress' Note! If you can't imagine a chair made of twigs or something…. Just improvise! ;

==============================================================

GiGi - Remember…. (gets mini sparkly silver and baby blue pom poms out that she steals from her sister's Cheerleader Barbie) Give me a R! Give me an E! Give me a V! Give me an I! Give me an E! Give me a W! What's that spell?

Inuyasha - Pshhh! Like you can spell?

GiGi - (whacks Inuyasha on the head with a mini pom pom) REVIEW! (shakes the single pom pom around then throws it also into Inuyasha's face) PLEASE!

Inuyasha - Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…. (tackles GiGi)

GiGi - Meep! That's it! No more ramen for youuuuuuuuuuu!


End file.
